How Safe Is Instinctive Internet Dating?
Hi,
ASL
Cool! Are you single?
These are the most common words that an average user (mainly females) gets to read when they receive an im in a chat room.
This does not mean that I am one of them. These lines were provided to me by my friends who love to spend most of their time in chat rooms flirting with some firangi chicks. Few days back it was our get together, I met many of my friends after a long time (coz we are now busy in our daily life). And as one could have easily guessed the center of all chit chat was women.
While everyone were busy talking about their love life two of my friends came up with their unusual experience in love (I think lust is the word for them). One of them said they meet new women everyday on net especially on Yahoo! Chat rooms. They search them through various rooms like romance, adult, regional, etc. and then they began for which they are known, cheap talks. They hide their identity and prefer to be known as Jack, John and once they even tried Tom Cruise and they said they were able to convince the women that the person talking to her was actually Tom Cruise with mere talks (I hardly believe this Tom Cruise thing). They reveal their age as 27 and location, London or New York. Reasons being simple most of women prefer talking to whites (sounds like racial discrimination to me).
Once they are through the process of formal introduction they move on to other topics like love, life and finally sex. And they strictly followed one rule i.e if a woman does not have a webcam they would just mark her as a spam and would add her to their ignore list. In short they were purely looking for cyber sex. And their final statement to end the story was there are many more things in internet space besides social media. (Many more..huh, we all know what do they mean by more)
This gave me a thought of researching more about people involved in such cyber sex activities. I then came across this Times of India post which states that according to a survey conducted by author Joan Sauers One in five Aussie women have admitted to having a sexual encounter in an internet chatroom. The survey also revealed that more than 50 per cent women in Australia had sent or received a sexual text message and one in five have starred in their own sex tape. Joan writes in his book “As a society, we increasingly rely on technology to get the job done, whatever the job is.”
It seems that the new age of technology is surely being misused. People meet on a chatroom and end up getting abused. There many clippings of women who pose themselves in various inappropriate positions. These clippings are generally recorded during the webcam chat.
The Auckland Sexual Abuse Help Foundation says that Internet dating makes women feel as if they ‘know’ the men they are chatting with. This in turn, leads to them relaxing their guard and agreeing to meet them – increasingly with horrific outcomes, reports stuff.co.nz.
“The reality is that women don’t really know their Internet dates,” said crisis services manager Kate Brady Kean.
“By removing their usual defences women are leaving themselves open to assault. “A woman’s first response is often: ‘I can’t believe he did this, he seemed like such a nice man’,” she added.
Going through the things told by my friends women on internet needs to be more careful before talking and revealing too much stuff about them to the strangers.
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A very educating blog. What you are saying is absolutely true. This is a huge flipside to the advancement of technology. Its a very funny syndrome… the chat rooms are the biggest attraction on the www. The easiest place for sleazy talks. And mind you, here you cant blame the men alone for initiating the sex topics… the women too are onely out there…!!! That is the reason that the social networking sites have the 18 age bar… but apparently its fashionable to lie about your age and get cool. Sometimes I wonder are those warnings all in vain…??
@ Sakshi – Thanks for commenting. I agree that both men and women are equally responsible for such sleazy talks in the chat rooms.
Talking about the sns they were suppose to be a platform for people to socialize. But they have become more like a matrimonial or dating sites. The age bar is not an issue over here. It is the misuse of services like chat. As there is no accurate way to keep a check on this i guess that people need to be more careful about what they are talking and to whom.
Hey, whats the need of making 18 yrs bar?? those sites are not going to check anyone’s age if he/she entered that he/she is more than 18 yrs.. i personally know lots of guys and girls who are below 18 but they are in orkut or in facebook or in Hi5..
@ Prashant – Thanks for commenting.
In my previous comment I have mentioned about the same issue which is raised by u. Age bar is not a concern as there there is no accurate way to keep a check. It is therefore advisable that people need to be more careful before talking and revealing stuff about them to the strangers.
oops.. sorry.. i didn’t read your previous comment..
i read only first comment and directly came to enter my comment.. thanks
@ Prashant – no worries
i hope that you had a great time reading watblog
Why do u think this (sleazy talk / cybersex) is a problem , ppl r doing what they want to do and no one is forced to do this ….the only problem I see here is underage users getting into it … but that …i guess ..is the responsibility of their parents to ensure that their children are not doing something that they shud not be doing …..but what adults do on these chat channels is their choice ….we have no right to say that its wrong ….
@ Vivek
Its not about the right or wrong that the post talks about. Ofcourse, when you have become a major, you are allowed all the freedoms and there is nothing wrong in indulgence also. Its your life you do what you want. What we are talking about is misuse of the same facility. And the misuse is not only by the underage users, its also by the allowed users. Because at times during and after thosew conversations and after the meeting with your cyber date…we end up hurting the person… not only that, often a person would pose as a guy if he is a girl… and vise versa just to have fun. That is where the whole mis use thingy comes into play.
I must mention that all the sites have a warning about all the precautions that one must take…but despite that we overlook that, and end up feeling used. Its about how we handle the whole situation.
@Sakshi
“Because at times during and after thosew conversations and after the meeting with your cyber date…we end up hurting the person…”
If you is so dumb , that you believe someone u meet in a public chat room to a extent where u can get hurt by their behavior …than you deserve it.
and about the article and comments … I got a impression that the author is saying that these things are wrong …. and my comment to that is “what people do in these chat rooms is their choice , thats it.
Only manic desperadoes see Internet dating as seriously as to believe it’ll obtain them a partner. Chat room dating in particular is for juveniles and jobless souls.
Plus, your post gives an impression that girls are just innocent victims of male predators prowling the net. Why reserve sympathies only for chicks? You think there are no sluts in the chatrooms who lure innocent boys? I don’t support any abuse, but it’s obvious there are desperate girls looking for quick action willing to do a Sharon Stone or do a Paris Hilton. Once their actions come to bite them, they wanna pass the buck.
@ Vivek – I am not talking about right or wrong. As Sakshi mentioned the entire post is on how people misuse the facilities provided to them specially my friends.
@ Jaideep – 1) My post is mainly on how my friends use the chat facility therefore I have not covered the other aspects.
2) I am not saying that girls are just innocent victims of male predators on net. I agree that there are many women and men out there to earn quick bucks by showing their skin.
3) The other point that I have mentioned in my post is that people misuse this facility by recording the web cam chat. In these clippings women/men are caught in inappropriate positions. Why do this? The answer is simple that today porn is a multibillion dollar industry. This helps them to earn some extra bucks without much effort. But in the end victims suffer due to their mistakes.
Therefore I just request people to be more careful before revealing too much information (or something else) to their new friend on the net. Otherwise in the end they would end up saying that I can’t believe he/she did this, he/she seemed like such a nice person.’
I hope that this solves all the queries.
PS. I apologies for replying late
@Rushab
Long time… neways I completely agree with you in all the points that you have mentioned here. Its always easy to take the short cut as they say.
@ Jaideep
I do not completely agree with you when you say that internet dating is for desperate souls… and that its not serious stuff.
See, the reasons why the closed communities check on your net usage is for the same reason i.e misuse. Pornography is a legal offence under law. Why would you want to misuse the facilities provided for u?? for the thrill of it… but there is no harm in being careful… that is what the post was all about.
@Rushabh off course u r saying that its wrong …. if not then what do u mean when u say “misuse it” ?
@Sakshi – I was in some deserted place and was deprived from my first love internet.lol
@Vivek – I think that cheating someone and recording of inappropriate webcam chats and then selling those clips to earn quick bucks is called misusing.